As you rush out the door every morning and drop into bed at night, you know it’s time to reconnect. Do you miss each other? Do you miss real conversations and uninterrupted evenings to laugh and relax? When did it get so hard to make time for your spouse?

The children, bills, errands, and late nights at work will have to hold off until later. Your date nights need to make a comeback in a serious way.

If time together sounds really good right now, but you don’t quite know how to get back into a dating groove, you may just need some solid ideas for making it happen.

No problem. Here are 5 ways to get together and get out the door.

1. Save the date. No excuses.

Do you ever want your spouse to feel that time together is inconvenient or expendable?

Of course not. Make date night a priority. Circle several date nights on the calendar. Put reminders on your phone. Put date night at the top of your to-do list.

Mutually agree that your night together is solely devoted to love-building. And hopefully, love-making. The night is yours for three to five hours, depending on the age of your children. Hire a babysitter. Dress up for a real date. Maybe have a nightcap after the babysitter leaves.

2. Build excitement.

People only do what they want to do. Mention something during the  week about your planned date. Send each other text messages or leave each other notes. Use date night as a springboard for connection throughout the week.

The anticipation of your time together will help protect you against outside forces that might get in your way. Neither of you will be quick to forgo the good time you’ve been looking forward to.

3. Plan it like you mean it.

This is not a call to extravagance, but more thoughtfulness. If you have a tight budget, a fancy restaurant every other week could quickly become a strain. Simply plan your date nights with intention and forethought. The goal is to make it happen regularly.

Plans should be made days in advance, and only rarely on the same day, shuffled together at the last minute. It sends the wrong message to your spouse and may lead to resentment or tension. Plans can always be altered, but it takes work to have fun. Leaving it to chance means there is a good chance nothing at all will happen.

Keep your time together from becoming an afterthought in any way.

4. Be diverse daters and sneaky schedulers.

Open your mind to non-traditional dating activities at unconventional times. If you and your spouse find that your daily responsibilities simply don’t allow for traditional Friday or Saturday date nights, try for times that suit you both and allow for the least amount of interruption.

Look at your day planners with fresh eyes. Dates are about quality time together. Stay flexible and open-minded. Creative dates keep things fresh. Anything you mutually enjoy, at whatever time you decide to do it, is worth the effort.

5. Share the job of date planning.

Give equal opportunities to plan. You don’t want planning to become a pressure or a chore. Take turns. Surprise each other. Show each other consideration and respect by balancing the responsibility of planning with a willingness to try things that your partner likes.

Date night can be a wonderful way to support your partner’s interests, even if you might not be as keen on them. This opens the pool of date ideas considerably and enhances the sense that you are both willing to do what it takes to deepen and care for your bond.

Relish the habit of seeking each other out, anticipating time together, and experiencing each other in new ways. When date night becomes a priority, much more is accomplished than another check mark on your to-do list. Your friendship is bolstered, your bond strengthened, and loving appreciation becomes an enjoyable part of your routine.

If you’re struggling to connect with your partner, contact me to see how couples therapy can help.